The
Lake Powell (Hell) Houseboat trip had been
planned for months. Durango had made the reservations, plotted the
schedule, organized the logistics and all he asked was that he not be
subjected to any pointless, endless itinerary discussions, a pastime
Durango knew was a prime indulgence of one of the floatmates, the twin of Big
Ed, the flatulent, corpulent, always hungry, always eating, first
husband of Wanda, that bearded Wonder of Worry named Homer. Like it said
in the intro, we're not going to tell the entire story here, just the
houseboat part, we'll spare you the Homerisms leading up to the houseboat,
so there will be little mention here of what came to be known as the Vegas
Obsession...(except to say that Lulu made the mistake of saying she wished
she didn't have to do this same drive she'd just done a few months
prior, to which Homer suggested she should have flown to Vegas, rented
a car, and met up with us at Bullfrog on Lake Powell. Lulu then told
Homer she wished she had consulted him prior, due to his idea's pure
brilliance, while she though to herself, what a moron. Homer then
excitedly told the rest of us about his brilliant idea. He did not get
the hoped for (fake) Lulu-type praise. And yet, he repeated his Vegas
Obsession day after day until he was finally told they didn't do the
fly to Vegas option because it would not have worked and would have
been idiotic, considering our itinerary.)
The Houseboat Expedition was to launch from the
Bullfrog Marina, located on the north side of Lake Powell, a half day's
float from Rainbow Bridge National Monument, our prime houseboat
destination, mentioned in all the mailings Durango sent detailing the
itinerary plans for the trip. We spent the night before houseboating in a
dwelling called a Housekeeping Unit, which actually was a double-wide
trailer, a good preparation for our eventual internment in the confines of
the houseboat. After cooking a large dinner for his co-floaters, Durango
was hoping for a peaceful, relaxing evening. But just as Durango sat down
to relax, Homer picked up a large scale map of Lake Powell and proceeded
to engage in 2 hours of pointless endless itinerary discussions. Homer was
convinced it was impossible for us to float to Rainbow Bridge, that it was
just way too far. It made no difference to Homer that this had already
been determined and plotted as doable. It made no
difference to Homer when
he was told that Tour Boats made daily trips to Rainbow Bridge from
Bullfrog. On and on Homer whined...there was no shutting Homer up...Homer
was in the grip of a fresh obsession.
